I started reading the work of Pema Chodron 10 years ago. From the first time I read about the philosophy of Buddhism I knew that that was where my soul could find a home. I have never met Pema, but her writing is formative in my journey towards loving kindness and a spiritual path. I have read and re-read her books, and depending on what stage I’m at they seem to flex and change to guide and comfort me in exactly the way I need it. The most positive (and challenging) lesson from Pema is to ‘stay with the pain’. I have learned possibly the most important attitude to life through this – pain is a great teacher – and if I accept it instead of running away from it, I will grow in strength and compassion. It has been key in the most difficult times in my life – even the times when the pain is too much. The word ‘maitri’ is the relationship we have towards ourselves,the loving kindness we can show ourselves when we are hurting. Instead of lashing out, festering a grudge, self harming, shutting down – there is another way, and that is maitri – to soothe our hurt with deep love for ourselves, until we are ready to accept the circumstances that have brought us the pain, make rational decisions to deal with it, and move on in a spirit of forgiveness. This doesn’t happen overnight, but Pema Chodron’s work is how you can get there.